♥Me & You♥

I've been longing so hard for you,

Like earth longing for sky.

But the fact they couldn't or shouldn't meet,

I wish that could be a lie.

Lost my sleep, I've lost my mind.

Something in me is falling apart.

Always you seem so far from me,

And yet you live in my heart.

Missing you all day and night.

Missing you with all my might.

'Cause without you by my side,

Nothing seems to be alright.

And I know I've fallen for you.

I admit I've fallen for you.

I wish we could've a moment for us.

One single moment shared by two,

Me & you.

I'd feelings that I never showed.

Feelings, I tried to hide.

There were things I wanted to say to you

Have you ever read them in my eyes...

It didn't happen out of the blue

I knew I was falling for you.

I didn't realize it until now

It's time that I confess to you.

You should know, I'm in love with you.

Yes it's true, I'm in love with you.

I wish we could've a dream to dream.

One single dream shared by two,

Me & you.

Side Effects May Vary

Every other morning,
He wakes from a beautiful dream of her.
And as his senses crosses the doorway to reality,
An immense hollowness takes shelter inside him.
Dare he say, he is missing her,
Dare he say, he is in pain.
All he knows,
That he just needs to see her,
Before he goes insane.

She is in front of him now
Dressed like a boy again
But she doesn't care, neither does he.
Maybe he's in love with her flaws
Maybe it doesn't look like a flaw to him
But before he takes a step towards her
He makes a mental note of do's and don'ts
He should not get too close to her
For it can become difficult for him
To control the rush of his feelings for her
He should see her from a distance
But not stare at her
He should behave like a friend
She shouldn't see any love and care
Coming from him
For she is like a bird who likes to fly freely
Within no boundaries, no boundations

And yet when he walks over to her
He can't help staring at her endlessly
He want to talk to her but  can't find words
Instead he just keeps looking at her
He loves the way she laughs
And the way
she put a strand of hair between her lips
Her lips, he notices, are mostly brown
But sometimes pink.
He felt his heart sink
Whenever he sees her upset and hurt.
To his heart, she is like a drug
To cure a serious disease they call love.
She makes him feel good and alive
But like most drugs
It comes with side effects too

At the same time,
It's both beautiful and scary
To miss her and see her,
To live beside her, and die slowly
Little by little.
He is yet another victim of love
With yet another story
Maybe you can relate to him, maybe not
For I know from experience 
That the side effects may vary.

As He Moved On

Like an autumn leaf
He was hopeless
Floating aimlessly as the winds carried him
To places he was not known to.
But he did know he had lost
Lost in every sense of the word
And he realized
He had to move on
Before it was too late.

As he moved on,
The sun looked brighter for a few days
But then it rained
And it rained heavily
Was it possible that one rain could wash away
The memories and the pain,
The dreams shared together
All those promises made in vain
It rained again for the next couple of days
And he reminded himself that
He had to move on
Before it was too late.

As he moved on,
He tried to hate her
He grew angrier day by day
Not with her but with himself
Angry because he couldn't hate her
After all that she put him through
He didn't know why
But he still loved her
He thought about her every night
Every night, he lived his past again
Her smile, their holdings hands,
Their relationship, and everything in that frame
But the truth remained the same
And so did the decision
That he had to move on
Before it was too late.

As he moved on,
Finally, the rain did stop
And the wounds did heal
But the scars were there
And so was the pain.
Maybe It was too late now, he thought
He couldn't leave those memories behind
Or perhaps those memories won't leave him
He was too tired to even try
But he knew he had to move on
Before it was really too late.

As he moved on
He learned to let go of the pain
While holding on to the memories
Not by running away from the past
But by accepting it.
Not by letting hatred rule him
But by filling his heart
With forgiveness and gratitude
For the girl who brought him love
She left an indelible mark
On those beautiful chapters of his life
But now those chapters were over
And the page had to be turn over
And so it did.
Maybe too late
Or maybe too soon.

Maybe

"Maybe I am in love with her, maybe I'm not".

"Maybe we can be together; maybe we can't.

"Maybe I'll move on with time; maybe not".

"Maybe this, maybe that......Maybe never,  maybe someday".

Often in our lives, we discover that the answers we are seeking to some significant questions, finds its way to a "MAYBE". As uncertain and unpredictable a maybe could be, for me, maybe was something that led me to hope. No matter how miserable the situation I was in or how worse I was feeling,  I could always think of a possible 'maybe'. A maybe that had the potential to transform my life from the numbing winters to the cheering sunny days. A maybe where my life was not a complicated mess like it actually was.  A maybe in which I could always reach for the things I love without the fear of hurting anyone. A maybe where I didn't need to think about a maybe. It is another thing though that none of my expectations from the MAYBEes actually did come true. Instead the one thing that I got from my MAYBEes was hope and that was all I needed to go on with my life.

A maybe doesn't always mean that something good will happen. Maybe comes with possibilities, both good and bad ones. And if you are wondering why I always saw maybe in a positive light, the answer is quite simple. The need for a maybe never occurred to me when things were going okay in my life. It was when things were coming to downright ugly that I thought about a maybe - a possibility that things would eventually work out better for me. Maybe it was denial, or escape or just an impractical, unrealistic wishful thinking but in the darkness of my life, it was the only ray of hope.

There is another question though whose answer might not be that simple to comprehend. You might ask why I continued to live with my MAYBEes even though they never actually did come true. I would be lying if I say that I never considered giving up on the MAYBEes. After all, the hopes that it gave me were all shattered in the end. But even if I was ready to give up on the MAYBEes, my heart wasn't. My heart wasn't ready because it was in love. Because it was so desperate to love her, to care for her, to be with her every single second that it didn't care about the pain a maybe could bring as long as it helped to keep the hope of love alive. So, I finally learned this -

Where there is love,  there is always a maybe. And where there is a maybe, there you can find hope. It had became a simple truth for me until I stuck to another question:

"Is it love that doesn't let a MAYBE die or is it the MAYBE that keeps the love alive" ?

                                                                      *****