"Maybe I am in love with her, maybe
I'm not".
"Maybe we can be together; maybe we
can't.
"Maybe I'll move on with time; maybe
not".
"Maybe this, maybe that......Maybe
never, maybe someday".
Often in our lives, we discover that the
answers we are seeking to some significant questions, finds its way to a
"MAYBE". As uncertain and unpredictable a maybe could be, for me,
maybe was something that led me to hope. No matter how miserable the situation
I was in or how worse I was feeling, I
could always think of a possible 'maybe'. A maybe that had the potential to
transform my life from the numbing winters to the cheering sunny days. A maybe
where my life was not a complicated mess like it actually was. A maybe in which I could always reach for the
things I love without the fear of hurting anyone. A maybe where I didn't need
to think about a maybe. It is another thing though that none of my expectations
from the MAYBEes actually did come true. Instead the one thing that I got from
my MAYBEes was hope and that was all I needed to go on with my life.
A maybe doesn't always mean that something
good will happen. Maybe comes with possibilities, both good and bad ones. And
if you are wondering why I always saw maybe in a positive light, the answer is
quite simple. The need for a maybe never occurred to me when things were going
okay in my life. It was when things were coming to downright ugly that I
thought about a maybe - a possibility that things would eventually work out
better for me. Maybe it was denial, or escape or just an impractical,
unrealistic wishful thinking but in the darkness of my life, it was the only
ray of hope.
There is another question though whose
answer might not be that simple to comprehend. You might ask why I continued to
live with my MAYBEes even though they never actually did come true. I would be
lying if I say that I never considered giving up on the MAYBEes. After all, the
hopes that it gave me were all shattered in the end. But even if I was ready to
give up on the MAYBEes, my heart wasn't. My heart wasn't ready because it was
in love. Because it was so desperate to love her, to care for her, to be with
her every single second that it didn't care about the pain a maybe could bring
as long as it helped to keep the hope of love alive. So, I finally learned this
-
Where there is love, there is always a maybe. And where there is a
maybe, there you can find hope. It had became a simple truth for me until I
stuck to another question:
"Is it love that doesn't let a MAYBE
die or is it the MAYBE that keeps the love alive" ?
*****
